Mom

About a year ago, my mom started having much more severe breathing problems. She was hospitalized several times. She was diagnosed with COPD. Her kidneys have always been a problem also and she has congestive heart disease. Toward the end of last year all of this really caught up with her when her medications were all stripped away by her doctor, who was trying to get to the bottom of what she had been prescribed vs. what she really needed. Her body filled up with fluid and nearly drowned her. This was September/October, and the first I had learned about her condition (mom has a severe paranoia of being talked about so she relates as little information to the anyone as possible).
Mom had been in the hospital for quite a long while but was unable to go home. Last summer mom and dad were essentally living in their front yard because they had litterally hoarded themselves out of their house and mom couldn't live outside in the cold winter months to come. (Loving friends helped them get their front yard into order to prevent heavy fines from the city.)
Lisa found a social worker at the hospital, who also happened to be the head nurse, who also happens to have hoarding parents. The nurse helped us complete the paperwork and the ability to place mom in a convelescent home.
Mom is not an easy person. While living there she turned the facility into the state for investigation. This did not make her life there very easy. She really wanted to be doted on and cared for compassionately, but never inspired this treatment.
Right now mom is in ICU and we'll see how she is doing. I am going up today. I know she is sick, and possibly dying, but she inspires so much fear, anger, and dread in me. I am still not sure that she will let herself die. For most of my life she has been drawing away from God, holding a mean little grudge against Him and all of creation.